#22: Try not to be sick

I am forever a woman of stupid medical issues. For months now, I have been exhausted, had numbness in my calves, pain in my back and ridiculous headaches and post nasal drip. A lovely myriad of symptoms. Staying true to myself, I have not yet seen a doctor about any of it, but have indeed self diagnosed.

It's my birth control pill causing my problems, I told myself--especially the leg thing (how many times did I wake up in a cold sweat thinking "OMG, blood clot!"). So I went off it. Smart thing to do when you aren't married.

Today I had the inevitable "annual exam". When the doctor asked how I have been over the past--oh, year--I did share some of my symptoms, and told her I was working on getting to the doctor. After I explained everything I had been experiencing, she told me the following:

"You are depressed, but I'll send you to a rheumatologist just in case. Don't be offended if they tell you its depression--we're seeing a lot of joint pain linked to depression, and really it's the best diagnosis to have because it's easiest to treat."

She then told me I could no longer wear high heels (further adding to aforementioned depression).

#1: I'm depressed because I have poor circulation?
#2: Since WHEN is depression easy to treat? H-e-l-l-o Zoloft, Paxil, Welbutrin, Lexapro, and of course the infamous Prozac. I mean FOR REAL?
#3: Why the hell can't I wear high heels?

Needless to say, I'm going to see my Russian family practitioner on Tuesday morning for a second opinion and treatment of vodka sprinkled with pepper. And I now have to find a new OBGYN and dermatologist.

So much for trying not to be sick.