#1: Keep Going to the Gym AND #7: Eat Healthier

Operation "Body 27". wtf, right?

What I mean is that I am on a mission, yes MISSION to get back the body I had at 27. This whole 31 thing has thrown me (hormonally, mentally and physcially) for a loop. They say your body changes chemically every 7 years, and by my calculations hell hath come three years early.

Last time around, I benefitted. At 27, I magically dropped 15 lbs by eating out, oh, every night, and boozing my weekends away. I went from a 6 or 8 (which I have ALWAYS been) to a 2 or 0 (yep, Carrie Bradshaw territory, hello hottie!). I mean seriously, it was better than winning the lottery. This time, not so much.

Lots of people tell me I'm skinny. Um, no. Obese, no, but I am no skinny girl. I have a man's body--gain it all in the belly, straight up and down. Suppose I hide it well.

I want to lose 10 pounds in 4 weeks--I do not care one iota if that's considered healthy or not.

I want to actually enjoy laying in the sun this summer without worrying about my muffin top scaring the fish.

I want to feel fantastic in my clothes again--right now, I would live in jersey knit every day if it didn't compromise my ability to make a living.

I want to lose it and then MAINTAIN. I am not delusional, I know this takes work and it is a lifestyle change, so I have to use methods I know I can keep up. I just need a little boost to get started--you know, like that Xanax before bed?

So how, pray tell, am I going to accomplish this goal? I'm going to go to the gym and force myself to do cardio--at least three times a week. I'm going to reduce carb intake and practice portion control. I would say I'm going to cut out the booze but, let's be realistic here, that won't happen long term. At first, a little more extreme with these committments until I hit that goal. And maybe a seaweed body wrap--instantly drop inches, or so I've heard.

Thank God my ass is still kickin'. I got something going for me.

#31: Realize how fortunate I really am

It's Sunday--psychologically Saturday because I DON'T HAVE TO WORK ON MONDAY!! For that, I realize how fortunate I am.

However, that's not what got me talking this morning. I'm up at the lake house--watching my puppy appreciate nature as the sun slowly peeks through the trees. On top of that, a nice Venezuelan man offered to pick up more coffee when I realized we were out, saving me the hassle of having to leave. Sigh.

I know how fortunate I am to have this house (ok, Scott has this house--he goes it goes, but we're not anticipating this occurrence). And yes, I do understand that it is our jobs that provide for this retreat. So I suppose I am fortunate for my job as well.

Finally, I would be remiss to not mention all the people who fought and died for this place I now sit enjoying--I am fortunate they had the courage to fight, and we memorialize them this weekend (contrary to popular belief, Memorial Day is about more than just the beginning of summer--and it ain't just about the North and the South. It's over. We won.).

From usmemorialday.org:

General John A. LoganLibrary of Congress, Prints & Photographs Division, [LC-B8172- 6403 DLC (b&w film neg.)]

Memorial Day was officially proclaimed on 5 May 1868 by General John Logan, national commander of the Grand Army of the Republic, in his General Order No. 11, and was first observed on 30 May 1868, when flowers were placed on the graves of Union and Confederate soldiers at Arlington National Cemetery. The first state to officially recognize the holiday was New York in 1873. By 1890 it was recognized by all of the northern states. The South refused to acknowledge the day, honoring their dead on separate days until after World War I (when the holiday changed from honoring just those who died fighting in the Civil War to honoring Americans who died fighting in any war). It is now celebrated in almost every State on the last Monday in May (passed by Congress with the National Holiday Act of 1971 (P.L. 90 - 363) to ensure a three day weekend for Federal holidays), though several southern states have an additional separate day for honoring the Confederate war dead: January 19 in Texas, April 26 in Alabama, Florida, Georgia (yep, I live here but I's a Yankee), and Mississippi; May 10 in South Carolina; and June 3 (Jefferson Davis' birthday) in Louisiana and Tennessee

#18: Read at least 15 books

Oops.

I have not been reading as much as I would like. I enjoy it, but find myself on early flights and the aforementioned red eyes, during which I prefer to sleep. Reading at night is no longer an option with a yelping puppy, so time for it has seemingly disappeared. Unfortunate--how all the things I really enjoy evade me these days.

I have book club tonight, and I've read about 100 pages of Bel Canto. Fantastic book, just not getting it done. I'm going for the wine. And to fulfill #23--have more girl time.

I talked to my #1 girl last night for a long time--I miss her. Wish she was coming to book club.

She had an interesting observation. Despite the fact that we live miles apart we are ridiculously territorial about our friendship--in that we don't anyone else replacing the other. It's so high school (as she tells me about a local friend she had high hopes for but just didn't connect with--secretly I was happy, awful, right?).

We're worse than any man's jealous girlfriend.

#7: Eat Healthier

Judging by the McDonald's sausage biscuit AND hash brown I had this morning, you could say I've fallen off the wagon. And, I said I wasn't going to drink last night either, but two bottles of white (and a pack a cigarettes--did I mention I quit smoking 4 YEARS ago?) later--whatever, it was a rough day. At least I didn't drink alone.

The good news is, vitamin B-12 helped me elude a hangover, and given that I had a good night, the world is rosy today.

Cheers!

#11: Explore the Possibilities

It is time, indeed. Maybe today I am feeling more dramatic than usual, but it's been spinning in the back of my mind for a long time--move on.

I find myself completely unfulfilled and in need of finding something more engaging than spreadsheets to keep me feeling alive. I no longer believe that what I do adds value or makes the best use of my talents in the grand scheme of things. Living for Friday is not how I want to experience life over the next 30 years.

By no means do I have any regrets--things have been good, no GREAT, over the past 10 years. I've worked my ass off and learned a lot--experiences I would not trade for the yellow J. Crew bag I currently covet. But change happens, and regretfully, it doesn't always agree with everyone it touches.

Time will tell but I'm feeling it. I do know that whatever I end up doing (or not doing), I will do it strong. I do not function well as "average".

Maybe that's a larger issue...