#10: Relax

I took a brief social media and blogosphere hiatus--in an effort to complete #10, relax. 

Abandoning the blog for a week didn't do much for the psyche. I can't tell you how many things flew through my head that I wanted to discuss with my Mac, only to remember I was on hiatus and couldn't. I also discovered this blog is limiting in that content should relate the list--but not everything I want to write does. And what happens once I'm 32? I created something new to worry about while relaxing.

Boycotting Facebook was a whole different story. I think I lost the voices once the urge to spy on my top ten finally subsided, and realized I really don't give a shit if Sue is eating turkey in South Carolina. Not to mention the attention I got in the real world. People actually called me (or texted, still a bit more personal), and used the archaic email tool because I hadn't updated my status...go figure. 

So my little experiment was successful, and given that my head friends seem to have finally left the building (you know, the ones that make all that shit up that just isn't true but they make you think about it anyway?), I might just "maintain" on Facebook for the time being until I have something I really want to say. 

#31: Understand and appreciate how fortunate I really am

Despite an incident last night that should have kept me buried under a mountain of self pity, I rise like a Phoenix from the ashes (I did go to Elon, you know).

Today is going to be a good day.

Mad Men. Wow. LOVE it. Purchased Season 1 through iTunes, and while it took two days to download it was well worth the wait. If you haven't seen it, do. Centered around the goings on of an ad agency in the 1960's--let's just say that had I entered my field in that era as an Account Executive I would be responsible for handling much more than ads. They are EVIL and I love them all.

Best line: "Love is something we created to sell women like you pantyhose."

Twilight. Another Wow. I, admittedly (depsite two younger siblings, an addicition to the web, and an odd obsession with all things Vampire), knew nothing about this book series. Then, while flipping through my Facebook Flair I came across numerous "I love Edward Cullen", "Edward Cullen's Girlfriend", "Bella is a Whore" buttons. Who the hell are THESE people and have they dominated Facebook? No, they are characters in a story. A vampire love story--and what is sexier that forbidden love? Did I mention these are "young adult" books. Explains a lot about the uber-mini and Ugg phenomenon.

While the movie "Twilight" comes out Friday, I bought the book and I am 200 pages deep. I can't put it down. I considered bringing it to work to read on webinars and conference calls--but that's why I have Facebook. It will be my evening indulgence.

So what I am thankful for?

1) Eyes and ears to watch and read these gems
2) The money to purchase both
3) My Phoenix-esque qualities
4) My super hot tights on my super hot legs today
5) My high opinion of myself

And of course the fingers to make these thoughts public for better or worse.

#31: Understand and embrace how fortunate I really am.

Winning starts today! No pneumonia. Although I was sorta looking forward to possible forced, medicated bed rest--as least for 1 or 2 days.

Since this is not in my future I'm going to put on my smashing new boots and skinny jeans (exploit my weight loss sans gym) to let the world know that I am back after a brief stay up my own ass. I deeply apologize for my lack of humor and abundance of "cuddle me" lately. Coping and not knowing what to do with myself, I talked (ok, cried, whined, prayed) to the internet. Of course some of you will picking me up again once the codeine wears off but for now...

I am fortunate that I have SO many people around me who love me, love to hate me and don't even know they love me yet and for all of them I am thankful.

That, and Flair on Facebook. Oh la la I love it!

Realization

Last week, I went back and re-read my blog from post #1 (yes, was lacking motivation). I realized a few things:

1) I never saw any of this coming
2) I've lost a little of my bitch
3) I became a pathetic, pseudo-philosophic girl (I hate)

So, no more whining. Just winning.

Right after I'm hospitalized at 2:45 for pneumonia. Wish me luck.

# 8: Stop eating out so much

Making soup--two Sunday's in a row. I declare this SOUPER Sunday (loser). 

Last week, I made curried cauliflower soup and it was really, really good. I made enough to feed all of Cobb County, but there is no choice. You can't make soup for one or two, that's called Campbell's.

This Sunday, I'm cranking out tomato and blue cheese. Slightly more complicated, but hopefully worth the wait (and effort, and burning hangnails from tomato acidity). This meal is cheap, which is good considering the "state of the economy".  Speaking of, the economy and my life are currently running parallel, and dancing to that Katy Perry song--not "I kissed a girl". 

So let's eat some soup. Cheap comfort. What more can you ask for?

P.S. Recipe to follow, should it turn out. 

#23: Have more girl time

Gettin' it on! My best girl is coming to town today, and we are going to have a weekend of just us. It will be fabulous to catch up and spend some time together with our own agenda. But first thing's first and that is book club tonight...AND I read the book. How lovely.

Last night I spent some time with Carrie, Miranda, Charlotte and Samantha--technically counts towards my goal. What do you mean they aren't real people?

I watched the movie again and my impression was that it was more contrived than I originally thought and therefore slightly less enjoyable (like a bad hair day, not a dumped at the alter kind of day). Did I mention my boyfriend went with me the first time? I'm not sure what I gave him, but I am certain it was something because he seemed to enjoy it. As for me and my second time, there was a certain comfort in it but I realized I HATE the soundtrack--tacky and distracting.

I did take away three new observations. Some sage advice, "it's not logic it's love"--as well as a future Facebook status update that I refuse to share right now.

And the third? I find it disgusting how much I draw parallels with a television character. Like I've said, shamefully more than once--I'm going to publish my book, marry my Big (in the suit the first time, however), and have my ever after.

I will just never, ever, ever live in NYC or wear a bird in my hair.

The Prolific Blogger

That's me--just ask L.

Yes, I have been rather diligent about posting lately. This is what happens when you have TOO MUCH F*!@&$* time on your hands. It is a fantabulous place to channel the energy, but it's short lived. It's true, I am writing a book. But I don't know the ending...makes it hard to put it in context chapter after chapter. Not to mention I refuse to cheat and consult the Magic 8 Ball because I like what it told me months ago and I do not want a different answer.

How else to fill my time? I spend a ridiculous number of minutes each day cataloging and dissecting random observations. Hence, why you hear from me so much. I could write a list (there we go again with the insanity!) nine miles long of the things I pondered just this morning, and despite putting in a FULL work day, not one of them is related to recruitment advertising.

Like, is Sarah Palin really considering running for President in 2012--and does anyone else NOT think that's absurd media hype?

Why did Bravo choose to highlight THOSE Atlanta housewives...damn it's embarrassing, but "Low Budget Bitch" is definitely the catch phrase of the week.

When men say they need Freedom...is that her name?

Isn't life just funny--funny ha ha and funny un't un.

Not exactly the most intelligent observations, but there are much more mundane things to consider. Like how the hell I am ever going to learn all the NEW channels now that the XMSirius marriage is complete. I want my Lucy!!!!

Tomorrow it's back to my list (to keep my reputation of being prolific--I just like the word).

#7: Eat Healthier

If you judge by my intake of red wine alone, then I am certainly healthy because I get a lot of it. Last night, I tipped an entire bottle in 4 hours--on average that's a glass an hour so I wasn't chugging, but a whole bottle? On a Monday? Then I had onion dip for dinner.

Nice.

At least I actually ate something. That's new this week.

#18: Read at least 18 books

Admittedly, I wasn't doing so good here. I'm in a book club (that's really a wine club) and for the first three years I ALWAYS read the book. I started the book club because I had no friends--really--when I first moved to the ATL. Over the years it has grown and it's a nice little mix of the ladies from all facets of my life. It's the event I look most forward to each month.

This year, I've been pretty bad about actually reading the book. But I am now making up for lost time and DEVOURING novels for sustenance--must be the cold weather, candles and a fireplace. I am going to attempt to list the books I read this year--most of which I recommend, and if I don't I'll let you know that too:

1) Lisey's Story--Stephen King (not usually a King fan, but a damn good book. I may re-read it)
2) Cowboys Are My Weakness (eh, so so)
3) Peony in Love--Lisa See
4) Basic Black--Kathy Black (I just don't ever want to be her)
5) In the Woods--Tanya French
6) Bitter is the New Black--Jen Lancaster (loved, loved, loved--mindless and hysterical)
7) Pillars of the Earth--Ken Follet (this technically counts as three because it's huge)
8) The Good Mother, Sue Miller (almost slit my wrists)
9) Bel Canto--Ann Patchett
10) The Thirteenth Tale--Diane Setterfield (reading now, and loving it)

There could be the stray novel (or self-help book) I omitted, but this is my progress thus far. I have three months to read 8 more books--thank God for the holidays.

I tried reading some Eckhart Tolle, and I just couldn't get into it. I also tried reading The Shack, and I think I'll start it again if I should ever find it--bad timing, but supposedly inspirational. Should you have recommendations of books I should pick up in the quest to meet my goal, I am all ears (or eyes, in this case).

Otherwise, I've been reading Facebook and there's certainly a lot to learn there.

#25: Get Engaged (or become single)

The question I have been asking myself a lot lately is why? Get married that is. If 50% of marriages end in divorce and anyone who is married will tell you "don't", why bother with all the heartache and trouble? 

I think I have found the answer--and trust me--I have many, many (many, many, many) reasons not to believe in marriage. I feel it is the ultimate expression of love for another person. A lifelong commitment, bound through all of the good and bad that life delivers, and a love that will manifest itself in many different ways through the years you are together. 

I've had my share of relationships--elation, heartache, passion, longing, need, lust, validation, for all the wrong reasons, experimentation, plain old stupidity and finally because it was right. Two has always been better than one.

There is no defining moment of being ready or 100% certainty that you have found the "one". But one day, you look at the person across the table, lying next to you in bed, or coming up those stairs, and you know that in some way despite all the other faults, they compliment and complete you.

Someday, as an old married woman I hope to enjoy the tender loyalty that awaits the lucky on other side of passion. 

There I said it. Now don't pigeon hole me to the "mommy track". 

#5: Save more money

Seeing as I am not spending much money on eating out these days (yay! #8) I found it fully justified that I recently expanded my collection of designer jeans. I'm not sure when it became acceptable to spend $200 on casual fashion, but I'm there and obsessed. I don't like to shop--really--but I am a sucker for a great pair of jeans. Even more than shoes and bags.

A little boutique, Hand in Pocket, that caters to the denim delights opened near my house and I checked it out today. I walked out with yet another pair of Paige (they are so kind to my bum) and a pair of skinny jeans! Skinny Jeans! Really! 

I avoided them like the plague, not thinking I could EVER pull that off (can we say chicken legs with a man gut?). However, my recent weight loss (14 LB's and counting, and not. even. trying.) apparently has given me the perfect body type to wear this frightening fashion trend. And the girls working there, oh they were so all over it that I could not NOT buy these jeans. I'm in sales, and yes, I fell for the pitch. 

I also picked up some more Michael Stars...one size fits most. Most, ladies. Most. 

For 1 hour, I was the hottest chic in denim in the great state of Georgia, and it's worth my $345 bucks, no question. Lord knows I need that little boost to the good 'ole self esteem right now. 

Now let's go test them out. 

#29: Stop biting my nails

As you know, I did this and they are beauts. French manicured and my own--never thought I'd see this day. As you also know, I've wondered how I have been able to grow them given the level of stress and chaos in my life and last night, I got my answer.

I had dinner with a dear friend of mine who always has a highly insightful observation or rock solid piece of advice to offer--seriously, she should consider a new career path.

The answer: control.

Growing my nails is the one thing I can control right now. While all my structure, routines, plans, dreams and paths are scattered in front of me, the fate of my nails is something I determine--to bite, or not to bite. THAT was insighful.

Not only because of my nails (wow, that sounds silly and shallow), but it made me realize how little control I have over my destiny at this moment, and that doesn't fly well with this diva. I'm not a "sit tight" kind of gal but circumstances have forced me to be. I need decisions, outcomes, plans and paths to feel right in the world. This is not to say I'm not a go with the flow girl in my day-to-day life, that I can be--yes, I can hop a plane to Vegas on whim or get hammered on a Sunday before a big meeting. But in general, there has to be some grand plan, or dream.

Right now, I have beautiful nails.

Not even sure what to call this.

I have two brain cells fighting it out for power, and I have to stop ever thirty seconds to look away from the computer while I write this--I am blessed that many meetings were cancelled today and that the one I did have were with people feeling just like me--missing the a-game today. I can't be perfect all the time, damn it.

Even Facebook is complicated.

I'm waiting to stand up and fall en route to my boss' office for my final meeting of the day. Oh the drama. Then I could be "that girl who fainted".

Again, there are better things to be remembered for in life.

#22: Try Not to be Sick

I just can't help myself, but YES this topic goes on. Last night's experience was ri-dic-u-lous. So of course I'm sharing, and maybe oversharing but so be it.

I had a lovely, quiet election night and knew by 10:15 that Obama would be our next President (and I refrain from comment on my opinion of that outcome). So, I went to bed. Or tried to. For the next 4 hours, I had to pee--constantly. But I was so drugged up on Nyquil that I didn't really understand that it was not normal. At 2:03am, I emerged from my Nyquil fog and it came to me--UTI.

Now, if you have ever had one of these, you know exactly how much insanity they can bring to your life. Besides being painful, they are EXTREMELY frustrating. I can't imagine what being pregnant is like with that baby pressing on your bladder constantly, but I'm guessing it's a close comparison (minus the burning--ok, too far, I know).

So, I proceeded to pull all of my meds from last year's lovely experience (that was the whole hospitilization episode) and take two of each. It wasn't until after I swallowed that I thought about how these meds may interact with the Nyquil and Sudafed already in my system, but it seemed logical in the middle of the night.

Needless to say I passed out. I woke this morning, and here is the moral of my story:

I called the doctor, and when asked the reason for my requested appointment, the answer was:
"I think I have a UTI, and I'm still not over the head and chest thing, and my back has started hurting and I think it may be anxiety."

Pause. Pause. Pause. "Are you still there?"

"Yes, when would you like to come in?"

It was then I realized my doctor must think I am a paranoid hypocondriac. I SWEAR, I am not. Hell, why have health insurance if you aren't going to take advantage of it.

Fix me, please!!!

#22: Try Not to be Sick

Ugh, I wish I could control this. I am the most disgusting human being right now. I did manage to rest for almost an entire day (and consume a whole lot of daytime TV) which is so not my style. I thought, take the time to get healthy and you will not prolong your illness. But I woke this morning feeling much the same way as yesterday, but with increased back pain.

But I did (stand up that is) and shower, take the dog to daycare, and vote. I even dragged myself into the office all coked up and loopy to try and get some stuff done. Should I have taken a second day? Maybe. But the truth is, I had an incident last year where I was in the HOSPITAL and people were still calling me as if I were out grabbing a bite. I would have to die for it to stop (and I'd probably still get email for a week or two). It really doesn't matter where I am.

In the back of mind I am wondering if this is tied to my dental work. I'm supposed to be pre-medicated before I have any work done, and I wasn't last week. Two years ago, my uncle had a serious health scare that they could not identify. They ultimately linked it to dental work he had done that created an infection in his blood stream. He too has a heart problem. It's not that I'm opposed to pre-medication it's just that I didn't have the time--and apparently the rules changed as to when a patient has to pre-medicate based on the work being done, so I assumed it applied to me.

If this is in any way, shape or form related to my dental work, I shall never hear the end of it. Although a couple days in the hospital on a morphine drip doesn't sound so bad right now.

Of course if I die, I'll be remembered as the "girl that didn't take her pre-med", and I'd much rather be remembered for other fine qualities, like being a critical bitch. Yes, absolutely.

#31: Understand and embrace how fortunate I really am.

I was blessed to have a beautiful weekend with my man and my dog. And that's all you're going to get out of me today because I'm busy writing my book. Yes, my book. Did I mention my landlord is an editor. I have exactly 10 months to knock this out.